The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. -Proverbs 1:7

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost you all you have, get understanding.-Proverbs 4:7

Monday, May 30, 2011

What if?

What if Memorial Day was more than a BBQ or a trip to the beach? What if I could give a quiz and even one of my students could come remotely close to explaining the purpose of Memorial Day? (The closest answer I got was "to celebrate the people who go to work to give us a free education".) This is high school folks. Pathetic. Astounding. Shameful.

What if time healed all wounds?

What if I could read this without hearing their voices all these years later?

What if I had never known and loved any of these people?

What if I could have just gone on sleeping that morning of September 22, 1995 instead of being awakened by frantic chaos?

I could play "What if?" all day.

I was 22. So young to learn some of the hardest lessons in life, but young enough to be forever molded by them.

With the exception of the first two, all the questions are the same; What if it had not happened? The single answer is: My life would be vastly different. One event changed everything; who I was, what I wanted and who I would become.

I would not have a child as old as she is. I would probably not live in Maryland. I would not be a teacher. I would probably not have to physically restrain my limbs from becoming out of control whenever the Star Spangled Banner is played (and people around me are acting stupid).

Perhaps, my only thoughts on this day would be about beach traffic, the pool opening and recipes for my BBQ.

The person I am is disgusted by the idea of who I could have become in the absence of one event; the ultimate answer to all of the "What if?" questions.