The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. -Proverbs 1:7

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost you all you have, get understanding.-Proverbs 4:7

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Word for My Year 2012

Yesterday, I shared what has become a New Year's tradition for me; picking a word to focus on for the upcoming year. I told you about 2010 and 2011. Today...2012.

A few days ago, I started wondering what my word would be. I was hoping for a nice, calm, non-directive word. Like "serenity" maybe. Something that wasn't going to require me to do anything. Because there is a lot of responsibility with being required to do something and it's easier to not commit to such things. Doesn't a year defined by just hanging out being happy and serene sound awesome?

Not a whole lot of words were coming to me. To be honest, I was only getting one word. I wanted multiple words to choose from...nice, happy, non-action words... I have realized, by this point, that while I might think I'm doing the choosing, that isn't really so. I do know I'm being given words.

The word I was getting is a scary word.

When I got "be", I was just happily living in contentedness and had no idea what was coming down the pike. Picking a word was just a fun thing to do. "Be" sounded like less of a command than it became.

When I got "wait", I had already waited- not by my choice. I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have accepted it at the turn of the year. There was a point with that word and that point had to be made for me to get it. When I got it, there wasn't any thought process involved. I just took it.

"Wait" is a huge command for me. I don't generally wait for anything. I'm a "just do it already" kind of person. I mean that from the very basic processes of life to the most complex. I refuse to wait at restaurants, because (in my opinion) there isn't any food worth waiting on when I can cook pretty well myself. I did not wait to get married or to buy a house. I just randomly decided to do those things and by sundown of those decision days, arrangements were in place for their immediate occurrance. Yeah, I don't wait.

I wasn't dreaming of a word that was going to require more of me than "wait".

So, naturally (I'm being sarcastic here.), my word for 2012 is "commit".


Commit is so much more than wait.

I tried to make the scenario an "I just imagined this word and it's not being given to me" kind of event. But no other words would come.

When the sun was setting on its finality, I talked about it with my accountability partner. Maybe I thought she'd confirm it wasn't supposed to be my word? She didn't. At the end of that conversation I was still not convinced. I needed some kind of further confirmation.

It came that night.

From Psalm 37.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;

In the span of a couple verses are all three of my words. What are the odds of 1. That happening? 2. I'd read it at exactly that time?

Commit to what? I have no idea. But, I'm pretty sure I'm about to find out. If history is indicative, it's not something I'm imagining right at this moment. If history is indicative, there will be some element of surprise and it will all make sense by next December 30.

I put all my words on one chain this year. Because I realized they are all part of my story and they are all probably to be continued.

(A word about the Psalms...At this point, you must be thinking I've spent a lifetime in the Psalms. I talk about them a lot. Truth is, until last year, I never liked them. (How's that for being real?) I am not a lover of poetry and, for the most part, have a history of not being able to read them without being bored to tears. Something happened last year. It started with Psalm 16 and now I have a hard time getting out of that book. They came alive for me. They hold meaning. They make sense. I love them.)

Friday, December 30, 2011

In Review...

A couple of years ago, I was with ("with" being subjective...they were online) a group of friends who decided to choose a word for the upcoming year; for definition, for inspiration, for whatever...

They all chose happy and explainable words like "joy" and "love" and "shine". I deliberated for a long while and could only come up with "be". Try explaining a word like that when you don't even know what it's supposed to mean, yourself. Besides...could I have chosen a more boring word?

My word for 2010 was "be". At the front end, I was happy. I was busy pretending (maybe) to be Pagan. I was content for the first time ever in my entire life and I probably assumed "be" was just a word to remind me to stay in that place. Because, that place was good. Who knew that place could become exponentially better? You can read about it here. Suffice it to say, that place became exponentially better.

At some point, I became aware of what "be" was supposed to mean:

“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

And I was still. For a long while. (I'm not a "be still" kind of person.)

Last year, I searched and searched for a word. I tried to make words fit or seem right. It didn't work. The new year came and went without my word. A lot of stuff happened in those first months. I didn't sleep a lot. Actually, not at all, for while. If that sounds fun, be aware it wasn't. But...there was another side and I wouldn't give any of that back for anything. At the end of it, I got my word. "Wait". Hahaha...He made me wait for "wait". it wasn't that funny. Ironic, maybe. On top of it, do you know how good I am at not waiting?

(Nevermind the picture of my great-great gram in the background. I was just trying to find a way to take a picture of some plastic beads on a flimsy piece of twine.)

I would like to have decided "wait" was not for me. But, it's hard to do that when everywhere you go people are suddenly reading (or quoting) Psalm 27 (If you get past all that enemy attack stuff, there is a command to wait.). I don't mean I heard it a time or two. I mean every speaker I have listened to since has either read it to me or referenced it in some way.

And then there was this song that takes lyrics from Isaiah's not my story to tell, but I was there listening to her sing it and stuff happened. My whole house ultimately changed in a way I had been waiting for. There is no doubt, that word was for me.

As it turns out (and just to be real), waiting is much harder for me than being still. Much.

Tomorrow, I'll reveal the word for 2012. For two reasons (neither for the purpose of being dramatic)...1. I'm waiting on something in the mail. 2. I'm still making peace with it.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


I forgot to take sufficient pictures of my own party (dinner/fellowship with Ryan's small group).

Clearly, we had dessert.

We had real food too. A taco/burrito/nacho bar (with enough leftover for us to eat until the new year)...

So blessed to have good friends.

Thank you all for coming.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Birth Announcement

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

(P.S...Hey, E. This is what I needed those candles for.)

Saturday, December 24, 2011


(Sorry for the motherload of has been that kind of day.)

Cheesecake...ravioli...quiche...cookies...macaroni and cheese...sweet potato cassarole...ham...rolls...brussel's sprouts...

1. We didn't have gumbo for Christmas Eve dinner, because I didn't want to cook all day. Umm...yeah...worked out great. ;-)

2. I am not cooking anything that takes longer than 15 minutes tomorrow.

3. I'm not washing any dishes, either. ;-)

4. Forget the above and know I loved every minute of it.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Eve of the Eve

One of the great things about having a teenaged girl in the house? She makes cookies. From scratch. I just come home and there they are. These taste better than mine.

Where's Luna? Most of our gifts are currently ribbon-less. Because Luna would eat them. Tomorrow, I'll spend an hour putting ribbons on everything.

My Nuremberg angel...a souvenir of some other part of my life. She's looking kind of bedraggled these days (her candle didn't fare to well in the attic), but I still like her.

Guess who loves me? Somebody made me dinner of my favorites: fresh mozzarella and tomato with pesto on ciabatta grilled.

O.K. Seriously the fluffiest cheesecake I've ever baked. It has settled down since, but the top has a crack and it it has a raised rim (to hold the cherries?). The only sour cream Trader Joe's had was "fat free". Can I blame it on that?

Sunday, December 18, 2011


(It's pretty much impossible to get good video of these things. You get the idea.)

(I'm not intending for this to make sense to you. If it does, good. If it doesn't, no worries.)

I woke up (I might have already been awake.) one night last week (at around 2 a.m. which is my favorite time to wake up and be wide awake when I have to get up and go to work in a couple hours after that...) and I could hear (Don't ask me if I could audibly hear it, because I don't know the answer to that.) this song:

I've heard it a million times, but not in awhile.

There's this section that goes like this:

And I get to love You through whatever comes.
What a privilege
That I get to love You through whatever comes.
Oh, how sweet it is,
That I get to love You through whatever comes.
What a privilege it is
That I get to love You through whatever comes.
Oh, how sweet it is.-Kristene Mueller

I got what I was supposed to get immediately. And was grateful for it. Because...well...sometimes I think too much at night and I need a little focus to improve the efficiency of my thinking.


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Hi Grandma.

My grandma wants to know why I haven't been updating her.


Because nothing all that exciting is happening.

Just normal stuff.

Talking about the 9 Core Technologies at school. I spent yesterday and today on (fluid technologies) pneumatics and hydraulics only to discover they have no idea what I'm talking about despite the lab and today's activity (and a Youtube video out of frustration).

Made a semi-distorted (here) pattern in about 30 seconds for a project I find myself suddenly doing. I have no idea what I did with it though. Good thing I can make another in 30 seconds, right?

The dog decided she is going to be a "trash dog" recently. Which is really annoying. Today, I let her spend a little time with it. Because I was annoyed. Again. It seems to me it would be possible to go through the trash without dragging it all over the house...evidently not.

Unpacked that (tall as me) stack of boxes to get the cardboard out of here. I told you all the contents would have fit in one box. For reference, the nativity figures are only 4-5" tall. Amazon should invest in smaller boxes, don't you think?

I wish I could show you some food or something. I received this text from my daughter three nights ago: "Hi Mom. Are you going to cook dinner tonight or are we just going to look around and find something like we have been doing for the past 3-4 weeks?" Umm...yeah. Need I say more?

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Sometimes I make them do math...even though they insist it isn't math class.

I bet my UPS guy had some choice words for me today. For real, I'm sure I could unpack all those Amazon boxes and fit all of the contents into one box.

The first card. Which reminds me...I have cards to get out. I sort of forgot.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Closing in on the End of an Era

Ten years ago, I sent the first one off to kindergarten. In a few months, the last one will be done with elementary. The school is not in our neighborhood (or even our's 30-45 minutes away). Once he's done, we will not have any affiliation there. The thought of that is so weird. And sort of sad.

Tonight was the last winter concert we'll ever go to there. Granted, it's the same concert every year, but this one was the last. I made fun of someone (don't worry...all in good fun...t'was a friend) shedding tears at this juncture last year. But, I guess I get it now.

The things I don't want to forget...(The music doesn't make the's always a trainwreck. A gazillion kids and one lone teacher...organized-ish chaos.) It's the little boy who won't be for that much longer. Chapped lips, dirty fingernails (hopefully, we'll make progress in this area soon), sneaking in with sneakers and white socks instead of the shoes and black socks I bought, the semi-disheveled look of someone who insists he doesn't need a haircut outfitted in the performance, gold collar (the kind that never hangs straight on anyone), it's these I must remember.

It's unfortunate the lighting is always so funky in there I can never get the pictures I want; hopefully these will be enough.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Happy St. Nick's Day

The feet in this house are getting huge. Mine have been the smallest for awhile now. We used to put the shoes on the floor under the big tree. But, Cujo likes chocolate. Unwrapped...or not.

A side of Cujo and the glint in her eye...chocolate???? (The flash at night always makes her look a little possessed.)

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Party #1

Because I'm fairly certain there is a long line of parties in my near future.

Today...Alicia's Girl Scout party. All the food was kid made (or bought in a box and kid heated up, lol.). I think this is the first time I've gone to a party planned and executed by my child and her friends. Who knew having a party could be so relaxing?