A few days ago, I started wondering what my word would be. I was hoping for a nice, calm, non-directive word. Like "serenity" maybe. Something that wasn't going to require me to do anything. Because there is a lot of responsibility with being required to do something and it's easier to not commit to such things. Doesn't a year defined by just hanging out being happy and serene sound awesome?
Not a whole lot of words were coming to me. To be honest, I was only getting one word. I wanted multiple words to choose from...nice, happy, non-action words... I have realized, by this point, that while I might think I'm doing the choosing, that isn't really so. I do know I'm being given words.
The word I was getting is a scary word.
When I got "be", I was just happily living in contentedness and had no idea what was coming down the pike. Picking a word was just a fun thing to do. "Be" sounded like less of a command than it became.
When I got "wait", I had already waited- not by my choice. I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have accepted it at the turn of the year. There was a point with that word and that point had to be made for me to get it. When I got it, there wasn't any thought process involved. I just took it.
"Wait" is a huge command for me. I don't generally wait for anything. I'm a "just do it already" kind of person. I mean that from the very basic processes of life to the most complex. I refuse to wait at restaurants, because (in my opinion) there isn't any food worth waiting on when I can cook pretty well myself. I did not wait to get married or to buy a house. I just randomly decided to do those things and by sundown of those decision days, arrangements were in place for their immediate occurrance. Yeah, I don't wait.
I wasn't dreaming of a word that was going to require more of me than "wait".
So, naturally (I'm being sarcastic here.), my word for 2012 is "commit".
Commit.
Commit is so much more than wait.
I tried to make the scenario an "I just imagined this word and it's not being given to me" kind of event. But no other words would come.
When the sun was setting on its finality, I talked about it with my accountability partner. Maybe I thought she'd confirm it wasn't supposed to be my word? She didn't. At the end of that conversation I was still not convinced. I needed some kind of further confirmation.
It came that night.
From Psalm 37.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
In the span of a couple verses are all three of my words. What are the odds of 1. That happening? 2. I'd read it at exactly that time?
Commit to what? I have no idea. But, I'm pretty sure I'm about to find out. If history is indicative, it's not something I'm imagining right at this moment. If history is indicative, there will be some element of surprise and it will all make sense by next December 30.
I put all my words on one chain this year. Because I realized they are all part of my story and they are all probably to be continued.
(A word about the Psalms...At this point, you must be thinking I've spent a lifetime in the Psalms. I talk about them a lot. Truth is, until last year, I never liked them. (How's that for being real?) I am not a lover of poetry and, for the most part, have a history of not being able to read them without being bored to tears. Something happened last year. It started with Psalm 16 and now I have a hard time getting out of that book. They came alive for me. They hold meaning. They make sense. I love them.)
