As spring break comes to a close and I reflect on everything I wanted to get done, my list of "wanted to do" is much longer than my list for "actually did". Contrary to what I present and what you all might believe about me (because I take pictures of the parts of my life I'm happy about and conveniently ignore the rest), I really don't accomplish all that much. And, most of what I do accomplish isn't beautiful and perfect (otherwise, you all would get to see a lot more pictures). Instead, I abandon my dreams of perfect and beautiful and settle for "good enough" and "didn't get to it at all".
Tomorrow, I go back to work and I'm embracing the reality all the laundry isn't done, the house is a disaster, my garden isn't planted, the grass is knee-high, etc... I had envisioned returning to work with a perfectly clean and clutter-free house, planned (and possibly already prepared) meals, prepared lessons for the week, etc.. I worked on it all week and last night was brooding over the fact this work is in nearly the same state of completion as when spring break started. Granted, the rains came (and came again), but the rest? I worked. It should have gotten done. I couldn't understand it. How is it possible to spend so much time working and have so little to show for having done it?
And then, I woke up to these verses in Ephesians and the truth hit me. It is true I was working all week on getting my house clean. But, instead of following one task to completion, I would do a little of this task and a little of that task and ultimately arrived to now where I feel like I accomplished nothing. I am here as a result of my decisions and habits. The enemy wants me to be depressed I've been home for 10 days and didn't get anything done. The enemy also wants me to dwell on what I could have done differently and to waste time trying to be better. God's word reminds me I should make the most of every opportunity and be wise about what I do. His word also reminds me I can't do anything without Him.
Today, instead of being depressed and angry with myself about this situation, I can praise God for making clear to me how I ended up here in the first place. I can rest in confidence He will teach me how to live wisely and how to make choices that will lead to a better life.
Lord, show me how to adjust my habits and how to make the most of the time you have given me. Teach me how to live wisely for your glory.
