The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. -Proverbs 1:7

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost you all you have, get understanding.-Proverbs 4:7

Saturday, May 24, 2014

What if?

I'm one of those people you would suspect is really quiet (unless we know each other), but also one of those people who has to sometimes work out their life outloud.  Even if that "working it out" includes talking publicly with imaginary people.

What if I just stopped and hung out with my flowers for awhile?  Gave up all of whatever it is I am doing and said "enough"? 

There are two camps of people in my life...they are opposite in every way.

The first would be well-meaning and would say "You should continue on.  You will regret it if you don't."

I'm thinking about that second camp.  We haven't said anything to each other in awhile.  I have an idea of what they'd say.  Pretty sure I wouldn't like it.  Even though there would be some truth.  Convoluted truth, maybe, but truth, nonetheless.  They'd also ask where I went even though I am right here.  Physically, anyway.

And then, I have about two people who are really wise.  I love them for it.  The huge elephant present there is what they know and would like to say is something they also know I have to come to on my own. 

To the first camp, will I?  Will I really regret it?  I don't know that I will.

To the second, I hear what you would say.  I get it.  But, putting it into practice only means, for me, leaving one extreme for another.  The problem with the other is I associate it with so many things I hate.  Laziness, for one.  Tell me what it looks like absent of laziness. 

To Princess D and the other D,  I am almost there.  I've got a hold on the elephant's tail.  I don't know what I'm running from.


What if I refused to take another step for awhile?  Just stopped?  Not just one thing, a lot of things.  How do I do that?

The final nail in this proverbial coffin came in the mail today.  I've been anxiously waiting for it.  Not because I use planners, I just like the idea of them.  (And, it's new paper.  I have a thing for new paper.)  Not because I have even the slightest idea of what or where I'll be teaching next year. 

Because there is a part of me that is constantly making plans.

What if I just left this blank for awhile?  Would it kill me?